A powerful exercise to heal from the damaging effects of a having a parent who was physically absent or who didn't meet your emotional needs...
If you experienced toxic, dysfunctional, unloving or emotionally abusive parenting, then you were consistently made to feel ashamed. It therefore became part of your subconscious programming, and - even an as adult - your subconscious belief is that there is something fundamentally wrong with you.
Perhaps you even heard things like, ‘You should be ashamed of yourself!’, or ‘Shame on you!’
The toxic shame stays buried within you, and it becomes a part of your identity.
So, rather than seeing that you made a mistake, you believe you are a mistake.
You didn’t do something ‘bad’… you are innately bad.
You feel sorry and ashamed about who you are as a person.
Although our minds love to tell us that if we just had that additional qualification, if we had a bit more experience, if we took that online course… then we’d feel good enough; feeling like an imposter has nothing to do with those things. An extra piece of paper or a new title will not change the way you feel inside.
You don’t need another skill. You don’t need more training. You don’t need another book.
You need to work on your inner self; your mindset and your beliefs.
If so, it can be hard for you to recognise.
In my own personal healing journey, and the work I do supporting clients on their journeys, I believe these factors are at play: awareness, denial and guilt.
Here are 25 examples of your mum or dad’s behaviours that are unhealthy, and actually emotional/psychological abuse…
This is an easy but incredibly powerful exercise for you if you had a critical, judgemental parent.
Having had a strong, critical, harsh voice from your mum, dad or other caregivers growing up has significant impacts on your entire life.
Those experiences result in continuing challenges in your life as an adult. Things like…
Being afraid to say no
Wanting to do everything for everyone
Lack of motivation
Perfectionism, and so much more…
If you had parents who were critical, judgemental, neglectful, unloving… or parents who were emotionally unavailable or physically absent, your inner child feels rejected and abandoned. S/he believes that you must do everything you can to make people happy, or they might leave or stop caring for you.
If your parent’s love for you was conditional (that is, offered or withheld dependant on your behaviour or achievements)… your inner child is desperate to please others in order to win their love.
If you were punished or criticised for mistakes growing up, your inner child is anxious and afraid of disappointing people and letting them down. S/he feels they must make sure they are doing things right by everyone else, and that everybody is pleased with the job they are doing.
A message channelled from Source, for you:
“…And I’m being shown that the reason we are going through this is that we are sort of acting like filters for the vibration of the whole planet.
Because humanity has been going through so much recently, and people have been feeling so flat and down, it’s as if there has been an ‘energetic earthquake’ and we are the ones receiving the brunt of that energy (intentionally), to act not just like buffers but to transmute that as well.
It’s like this tremor has shaken up so much of our old stuff, so that we can shift that out and then we become stronger, brighter conduits for healing energy for the rest of the world…”