Does your mum get angry or upset when good things happen in your life, when you’re successful and when you seem happy?
Does she criticise your appearance, telling you you’re too fat, too thin, that you’re ugly?
Does she badmouth you to others, convincing them that you’re a horrible person who is ruining her life?
Are you left doubting yourself, feeling like you’re going crazy, as she remembers incidents totally differently to how you do (and denies other events even happened at all)?
Do you feel like you can’t be your real, authentic self in her company?
Do you find yourself feeling emotionally bruised, upset and confused after being in contact with her? Feeling small, powerless, hurt and hopeless?
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Sister, you’re not alone.
What you experienced with your mum growing up is not your fault. You’re not crazy. You’re not a bad person. There is nothing wrong with you.
The mother-daughter relationship is the most formative, pivotal relationship of our lives. We live in a culture in which a ‘mother’ is idealised as unconditionally loving and nurturing, almost super-human with her capacity to give and love and hold space for her children.
If we've experienced something different, there’s a huge taboo around speaking up about it. It's likely that you carry a burden of guilt and shame around admitting that your mum fell short of this ideal. There's no cultural validation for having been a victim of emotional abuse from your own mother. It's an experience that can be treated with confusion and suspicion by others.
And if your mother was narcissistic and struggled to express her love, she led you to believe that what was happening was actually your fault; that you were in the wrong and entirely to blame. It's likely her version of events rarely matched yours, and she made you question and doubt your own mind. This is a common trait of a narcissist, and it's a form of psychological manipulation known as 'gaslighting' (I'll talk more about this in a future blog post).
What you experienced with your mum growing up is affecting you deeply as an adult. If love was withheld from you as a child, and if you were criticised and judged, you will continue to experience problems in your adult life until you heal your wounds.
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Do you sabotage yourself whenever you experience happiness or success? Do you deliberately underachieve?
Are you constantly ‘doing’ and often busy, believing your worth and value is linked to what you do and how much you do?
Deep-down, do you believe that there is something ‘wrong’ with you?
Do constantly give in your relationships with partners, friends, family and employers, but feel uncomfortable receiving in return?
Are you living inauthentically, playing small, hiding and minimising yourself; scared of being visible?
Are you are co-dependent in relationships, remaining passive and feeling uncomfortable acting individually? Do you sometimes feel like the emotional caretaker for your partner?
Do you compare yourself to and compete against other females?
Do you experience procrastination and resistance in your daily life?
Are you self-judgemental and self-critical, setting high standards for yourself and feeling crappy when you don’t meet them?
Do you struggle to say ‘no’ and to draw strong boundaries?
Is it difficult for you to speak up authentically and fully express all your emotions?
Do you feel like you’re sacrificing your own wants, needs, dreams and desires for others?
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These behaviours and life experiences stem from your unhealed mother wounding.
How long will you bleed before you affirm ENOUGH?
Darling woman, IT IS TIME.
You are PERFECT as you are. You are a piece of the Divine, an extension of the source of all creation. You are literally made up of the same stuff as stars, as the sun and the moon. You are enough, exactly as you are right now.
It’s time to stop seeking your mother’s love and approval, and to give yourself the love that your mum didn’t provide. It’s time to finally release all the pain and self-sabotage that’s been ruling your life. It’s time to be free of anguish, grief and lack of direction. It’s time to rise into your inherent power and own your true worth. It’s time you undertook the journey of recognition and recovery: of moving on, healing, and claiming your own self as the wonderful, vibrant woman you truly are.
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To support you this Mother’s Day, a challenging time, I have two messages specifically for you, channelled from divine beings.
I set the intention that the information I received be for all those who were destined to read this blog post, and that it be what you most needed to hear at this time.
I called upon the guidance of Kuan Yin, Goddess of Compassion, and drew an oracle card for you with this message:
“When the soul is ready to spread it’s wings, it goes through a deep cleansing, purification and preparation for new levels of spiritual wisdom, power and light. You are going through a phase of purification, preparation and initiation. This is an advanced phase of soul growth and soon after you will enjoy greater peace, divine power and advancement on your life path. Kuan Yin, Daughter of the Phoenix, has been through fire and has ascended into a position of great spiritual peace, power and authority. She guides you now to claim your rebirth and ascend!”
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Immediately after typing those words, additional channelled information began to flow through me. Here is that channelled message from spirit, again specifically for you:
“Divine daughter, you are holier than you can ever imagine. You can be all and do all that you want and intend; if only you could see this – your beauty, your power, your soul gifts, all waiting patiently to blossom in the sunshine of your learning and advancement. Please know that I am with you, divine beauty, and I love you. I love you more than you can ever come to know. If only you would receive my love and blessings. Be open to receive, divine one, be open to receive, for the universe conspires to shower you with blessings from the highest realms of love and light.
We are with you, now and always, so do not doubt that. We will be with you until the end of your soul’s journey in this body, in this lifetime, in this incarnation. Gently pushing and pulling you to awaken. The time is now, sweet treasure, the time is now. Please stand up, rise up, it’s your time to be all you came here to be and do all you came here to do. With love, so much love, and light - your divine team of angels.”
Know that you are deeply loved by the Divine Mother, the feminine energy that created all that is. You are her child, and she is always gently holding you.
Sending you love and support at this difficult time of the year.
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Want some additional support on your journey?
Join my FREE monthly distant healings and readings. You'll receive Reiki and White Light energy to lovingly cleanse your aura and chakras; plus detailed notes of the guidance and messages I receive for you, emailed after every session. On the day of the healing, you can simply go about your day as usual.