Exercise to heal from a critical, judgemental parent

This is an easy but incredibly powerful exercise for you if you had a critical, judgemental parent.

Having had a strong, critical, harsh voice from your mum, dad or other caregivers growing up has significant impacts on your entire life.

Those experiences result in continuing challenges in your life as an adult.

Things like…

  • People-pleasing

  • Being afraid to say no

  • Wanting to do everything for everyone

  • Anxiety

  • Issues sleeping

  • Depression

  • Lack of motivation

  • Underachieving

  • Sabotaging

  • Perfectionism, and so much more.

There are so many benefits for us in letting go of some of that past hurt and that past trauma; and taking responsibility for our own healing, and empowering ourselves to change the way we see ourselves and our lives.

It’s easier if you watch the video in order to follow along this tapping/EFT exercise, but if you’re familiar with tapping and would prefer to read the script and tap instead, here it is:

Even though my mother criticises and judges me, and it hurts every time she does it, I deeply and completely love and accept myself (repeat another two times)

It upsets me when she’s critical and judgemental and condescending

Nothing’s ever good enough for her

I feel like I’m not good enough for her

I feel rejected

She’s always trying to bring me down

Which hurts me so much

And this runs right back into the past, through my childhood

So much hurt and sadness and rejection

So much anger and resentment

It doesn’t matter what I do, it’s never been good enough for her

It will never be good enough for her

It hurts when my mum judges and disapproves of me

That look of disapproval on her face

Those snide remarks and comments

I’ve got all these feelings of not being good enough

Never living up to her standards

Not being worthy in her eyes

All this pain and sadness

All the confusion and shame and blame

So much shame that I’m not good enough

I blame myself for not being good enough

All these painful memories and emotions

All the pain and heartache throughout my childhood

Younger me, my inner child, is still hurting

All she wants is her mum’s approval

And acceptance and love

All those times she put me down

And made me feel I wasn’t enough

Why did she have to do this to me?

I was so little

I was innocent

I didn’t do anything wrong

I just wanted my mum’s love

And I got criticism and judgement instead

I honour that younger part of me and everything she suffered now

I’m letting her know that she is safe

I accept her exactly as she is

I unconditionally love her

She is loveable

She is worthy

I approve of her

And I’m letting her know that the only approval she needs is her own

I am choosing to accept now that this is how my mum is

She has her own limitations

That are nothing to do with me

Her behaviour is actually nothing to do with me

I’m letting go of any expectations that she will change

I’m letting go of the past

I’m letting it all go now

I’m letting this go so that I can be free

I’m not a helpless child anymore

I am an adult and I make my own decisions

I am choosing to let the pain go

I am choosing to create my own boundaries

I get to choose what’s good for me

I get to choose what i will and won’t tolerate

Im choosing now to honour myself

I am choosing now not to let her criticism affect me

Because I approve of myself

I love and accept myself

And the more I love, approve and accept myself

The less I look for that outside of me

I am choosing now to heal that little girl within me

Letting her know that it is safe to let go of the pain

I am choosing now to let it go

I approve of myself

I validate myself

I support myself

I deeply and completely love and accept myself (repeat another two times)