The first website I built for this business was beautiful. It used bright, rainbow, watercolour images. It made sense that it incorporated all the colours of our chakras, because I work regularly with those. People always commented on how gorgeous the site was.
But then I created a Pinterest board, adding images to it that I was drawn to.
There are currently 527 images on that board, and not a single one is bright or rainbow coloured. It’s a board of the inky blues and indigos of the night sky. It’s covered in images of galaxies, planets and moons. Its general vibe is dark and a little creepy.
It reflects a bit of who I really am. I am a creature of the night.
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Yeah, I’ve read the studies: sleep after 10 pm is less restorative, going to bed later increases risk of lifestyle diseases, night owls experience impaired memory function, late nights reduce energy and vitality... I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how, before electricity, we naturally would have gone to sleep at sundown and woken up at dawn.
Yet my quality of life increased dramatically when I let go of what I ‘should’ be doing and stopped fighting my body clock. When I ceased trying to go to bed and get up when ‘everyone else’ did.
I embraced jobs that involved starting work in the evening or at night; and negotiated late afternoon start times at ‘day’ jobs so that I could stay up all night like I wanted to. Instead of lying in bed wide awake for hours, stressing about how I was going to fall asleep and then get up early in the morning, I could stay up until 3 or 4 or 5am, embracing my most creative and productive period and using it to my advantage.
I read someone explain that, despite being a natural ‘night owl’, she came to realise that the effect of the sunrise's energy on her quality of life was worth comprising and adapting her sleep routine for. I thought about that on and off for many weeks, before realising that my most powerful time energetically is the night. I love walking in the dark. There’s a magical stillness, a hush, a deeply calming energy that sets in when the stars come out. And I resolved to take more walks at night. That is what rejuvenates me.
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My point is, your version of an ‘ideal’ life doesn’t need to look like everyone else’s. It doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. You've had enough life experiences to know what you do and don’t like. And it’s totally possible for you to cut out the stuff you don’t like.
One of my mentors, Denise Duffield-Thomas, introduced me to the term ‘Zone of Genius’ (coined by Gay Hendricks in The Big Leap). Your 'Zone of Genius' is where magic happens. It's where you become so excited by your life that you can’t wait to experience every new day. It's where you are passionate, creative, energised and magnetic. Your vibration is increased, and you therefore attract more and more of what you love. Win!
You think about which things you really enjoy doing, that light you up, that you’re deeply passionate about... and you drop the rest. You stay within that zone that brings you joy. If needed, you outsource the other shit that has to be done. There is always someone whose 'Zone of Genius' is actually those very things that you don’t like doing.
Love cleaning? Great! Don't? Hire a cleaner. And ask him or her to change your bedsheets during their visits. Fresh sheets for the win!
Love replying to emails, updating your calendars, making bookings? Awesome. Don't? Employ a Virtual Assistant to get shit done for you. You can find VAs online who charge as little as a couple of dollars per hour.
Love cooking every night? Power to ya. Don't? Pay someone to cook for you. A personal chef isn't just a luxury reserved for the ridiculously wealthy. Someone you know - maybe the chef at your favourite restaurant - fucking loves cooking and will be rapt if you offer to pay them in exchange for weekly meals for you.
Love tidying and decluttering your possessions? Cool. Don't? Get in touch with me. Seriously. I love that shit. Cluttered space, cluttered mind. Sorting through junk, letting go of the old and unnecessary, freeing up energy and creating flow in a space brings me so much joy. I would love to do that for you.
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You are constantly, every moment of the day, co-creating your life and your experiences in tandem with the Divine. You have the power to shape your reality to be absolutely anything. And your life can look anyway you want it to. So fuck all of the rules and push aside the muck of what you think you 'should' be doing...
And tell me: what does YOUR ideal life look and feel like?
What have you been doing because you ‘should’, that you are ready to move on from?
What action can you take today to move a bit closer to your version of your dream life?