CORE EXERCISE: E.F.T. ('TAPPING')
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HOW TO TAP
Step 1. Identify what you’re working on - the target. It can be anything, but the more specific the better. Choose one of the limiting, negative thoughts you've observed in yourself, or a feeling about a particular issue (for example, anxiety about money, specifically, paying upcoming bills on time).
Step 2. Feel into the feeling related to the issue. Try to 'dial it up'; really feel the anxiety, the fear, the hurt. Rate the intensity of the feeling on a scale of 1 to 10.
Step 3. Use a set-up statement. Bring the issues to mind, and tap the karate chop point (you can use either hand) while you focus on the issue, feelings and emotions. Say out loud or in your mind: 'Even though I feel [this anxiety about money/overwhelm about my decision/hurt from when my partner said I was stupid], I deeply and completely love and accept myself'. Repeat the set-up statement three times.
In this step, we are acknowledging a problem instead of trying to ignore or avoid it. Even better, we are affirming that whatever problem we are having is not linked to our self-worth and self-acceptance; we love and accept ourselves anyway. In this moment, so much shifts for us energetically, because our usual thought pattern tends to be, 'I'm bad with money/relationships/decisions so I'm an idiot/a failure/unworthy/not loveable.'
Step 4. Use reminder phrases (for example, 'this pain', 'all this pain') as you tap each EFT point several times. For example, say, 'this pain' as you tap the eyebrow point, 'this pain' as you tap the side of eye point, 'all this pain' as you tap the under eye point. Do this for one round of all points.
Step 5. Inhale a deep breath and release it. Then check in with your body, and rate the issue again. How intense is the feeling now, on a scale of 1 to 10? It may have already decreased, or you may need to complete several rounds to experience a difference.
Did something else come up for you? Be open to old memories, images, feelings coming up. Move onto tapping on those feelings/issues, too. Often an EFT session will evolve in this way, uncovering layers of emotion and different angles of an issue.
As an example, I did some tapping on feeling unworthy; on not feeling 'good enough'. As I progressed through rounds of tapping, a feeling of abandonment came up. 8 year old me felt abandoned and rejected as 'not good enough' when my mum passed away - something that consciously, rationally isn't true - but energetically that's what I was carrying, without realising it. As I cleared that feeling through tapping, another layer emerged: the heartache of shattered dreams and perceived failures. As I continued, more pain and shame came up, but this time of rejection through relationships ending. After I cleared the emotions related to all of these memories and experiences, I practiced Hoʻoponopono as explained below, to release the energetic cords and ties I had to the people in these memories.
EXERCISE 2: HO'OPONOPONO FORGIVENESS
It’s time for you to release the old energy, resentment and stories around your limiting thoughts and memories. Energetically, you must create space in your life for that which you desire. Let's get rid of the mental, emotional and energetic clutter that isn't aligned with what you want.
Forgiving someone does not mean that you consider their behaviour acceptable. Forgiveness is a actually an act of self-love, allowing you to release negative feelings and energies that have a hold on you and are affecting your present life. If someone has treated you badly, that's sad. But if you continue to treat yourself badly, dredging up that pain in your mind over and over again, that's much sadder.
The only moment that truly exists is this moment right NOW. The only place the past and the future exist, are in your mind. Literally, they are simply inside of your head. If we're constantly focused on pain from our past or worry about our future, we're wasting our precious and powerful energy. Letting go of the past is vital so that you can focus on your present and experience the loving, fulfilling life you desire.
Hoʻoponopono (pronounced 'ho-o-pono-pono') is a Hawaiian practice of forgiveness. The word translates into English as ‘to put right, to put in order or shape, correct, revise, adjust, amend, regulate, arrange, rectify, tidy up, make orderly or neat.'
Ho'oponopono uses a mantra, a repetition of the words:
Please forgive me
I love you
Take your memories list, read each one and try to recall what that moment felt like. Then simply state the Ho'oponopono mantra. You can say it out loud or in your mind. You can imagine the person involved as you say it, or not. Whatever feels right for you. 'I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.'
Then cross out the memory, and move onto the next one. This process is so simple, but incredibly powerful. All of life is connected. You are connected energetically to everything else in this Universe - every person, every animal, every event. When you send out a vibration of love, forgiveness and gratitude, you raise the vibration of yourself and everything else. When you heal yourself, you are literally healing the world. Your high vibration energy ripples out far beyond you, including to the person involved in the forgiveness work you are doing.
Purely by working energetically on myself, and practicing forgiveness, I personally have seen incredible results in a painful and troubled relationship. Without me having to physically contact the other person in anyway, the abusive and hurtful behaviour transmuted (quite quickly!) into a functional, respectful relationship.
Feeling resistance to forgiving? That's okay. Just start with something simple. Choose a memory/person that does feel manageable for you to forgive. Initially, you may feel as though you're just saying words without any true intention behind them. That's also okay. Just keep repeating this simple practice, and eventually the energy of the experience will begin to shift for you.
Need some inspiration? Here are real stories of people forgiving their child's murderer, their sexual abusers, the people who physically attacked them and left them disfigured. If these people can forgive those who wronged them, so can you. I love you and I believe in you.
EXERCISE 3: PHYSICAL DECLUTTERING
Marie Kondo - does it spark joy?
creating space, a void for new things, a vacuum. get rid of everything that's not serving you. fear = holding ontp stuff ebcause we don't truist that we'll be okay, that something better will come - there can be a lack of faith - sometimes we want to gran the next vine before we swing and and let go of the first - but channel Tarzan or Spiderman, swing through thtose trees - If it doesn't feel safe to let go, use tapping and forgiveness if neccessary.
Sometimes if we've felt unsafe as a child, we fill our lives with xxx - we're building a nest trying to feel safe.
story - stuff in storage here, friends houses, with an ex - lugged a heavy backpack around - felt energetic tie to all that stuff on the other side of the world. If you're allowing your space/life to be filled with stuff that you're settling for,,, what sort of a message are you sending out to the Universe? That you'll settle. That you're not worth having a space and a life that brings you joy, that you truly love, that makes you feel great. story - moved to Mexico, got rid of everything - fiurniture that an ex-[artner and I owned tigeter, gifts, everything.
Often if we feel resistance to letting go of physical things, this is mirrored internally - it's a fear of letting go - and it can be scray to let go of something that we've tied our identity up in - who are we without out stories> more in module xx
And it's the same with physical items. Look around your space and consider, if money was no object, if xxx, which of those things would you still choose to own? Would you choose a different model? Something more functional, more beautiful?
Sometimes we need to let go of things that are 'okay' to create space for the new. Story - worked multiple jobs and I actually loved them all - I really enjoyed gong to work. But I had an alternate vision for my life - I wasn't content to stay in those fields forever. Had to quit several jobs - and I got stuck in the cycle of quitting - they'd call me - I'd help out - back on the roster - swung around in circles for so long - because my boundaries were weak - if we've experienced narcissistic abuse, xxx
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Resistant? Start small - start with the 'path of least resistance' - don't go through snetimental items. Start in your bathroom cupboard - throw out any medications that have expired, duplicate items - half used deoderants, broken hair ties that you've tied back togther (does anyone else do that?). Or go through that drawer in your house - everyone has that drawer - the one full of random items like paperclips, batteries, pens, who knows what.
It feels really good to donate to charity - when you feel powerless, help someone else.
especially delutter anything that is energetically anchoring you somewhere you don't want to be: e.g. photos of you and an unsupportive ex partner, business cards from a previous failed business attempt, clothing from when you were a different weight -
Gifts - used to be blocked around this. The joy of gift giving is in the moment - that person doesn't gain any benefit from you keeping it, and neither do you, if you're not using it. Give it to charity. LET IT GO.
Decluttering hair - someone goes through a major life change, often change their hair
STory - Kuan Yin specified I needed to cut my hair, and the length - hadn't cut my hair for xx years because I'd heard,,, and I was experiemting. Related to another piece of healing my mother wounding.